I just continue to enjoy these, perhaps because I’m not involved in them. Here’s the latest way-out-there criminal story:

Two police officers were attacked by a topless woman swinging a meat cleaver on Tuesday.

The bizarre assault came after two veteran cops in Portland, Ore., were called to an apartment complex after a call came because a naked woman was allegedly outside the building and screaming, according to police.

When the officers arrived, a neighbor informed them a woman had pushed out the window screen from her second floor apartment. The two retrieved the screen and knocked on the woman’s front door.

They could hear vacuuming inside, and spoke briefly with 61-year-old Phyllis Ann Lasich through the door, the police report states. A few moments later, after hearing a crash inside, the door flew open and the half-naked woman emerged.

“Die *expletive*,” the police report claims Lasich yelled as she swung a large meat cleaver.

She allegedly struck one of the cops, who was unharmed as the blade hit his radio holder and left hip.

One officer drew his weapon while the other held a Taser, police said. Lasich allegedly swung the cleaver around briefly, threatening to kill the police officers, before getting caught on the screen from her window. She eventually listened to the cops’ commands and laid on the ground.

Police took her into custody, during which time Lasich thanked them, according to authorities.

“Thank God you are here! They’ve been coming to kill me all day!” she said, the report says.

The 61-year-old has not been charged.

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