I was eating lunch in the hospital cafeteria when a friend sat down to eat with me. He was  a security guard who was leaving soon to join the local police force, and was excited about it.

Well, he was excited about the possibilities that job would open for him … on other than professional fronts.

Turns out he had a “thing” for having sex with married women. While they were still married. Without their husbands knowing about it.

Now, this was something he had enjoyed for some time. But he hoped that being a policeman would, shall we say, make the ladies in the community more grateful to him.

When I asked him why he engaged in this practice, he said it made him feel good that a woman would choose him over her husband to meet her sexual needs. (Of course, he didn’t want these encounters to happen more than once with any given woman. More than that was “a relationship,” he felt.)

Why he was confiding in me with this information I simply couldn’t fathom.

Then there was the time when a different friend was “seeing” another married woman. She had recently wed her husband, but he had turned into a couch potato once he said “I do,” and this friend felt she deserved more. So they got together on a regular basis to talk and otherwise commiserate. (More than that, I didn’t want to know.)

He was telling me about this one time, expressing in detail his feelings about her, her feelings about him, both of their feelings about her spouse.

At one point, I turned to him and said, ‘You have two choices. You can either tell her how you feel, or you have to give up on it and never share how you feel and move on.”

About an hour later, after much more detail, my friend agreed with me. He’d had to go one way or the other.

In both situations, I don’t know exactly what happened after that. I lost touch with the first friend, the second married someone else. Again, more than that I don’t want to know.

But I always puzzle over people seeking me out to discuss these kinds of situations. Do they think I live vicariously through them? Or that I’m like Mr. Spock in Star Trek, who looks at things logically when they can’t because they are emotionally or physically involved?

Either way, I guess I should feel complimented that people trust me with these kinds of secrets. And I haven’t ever broken those trusts, and never plan to, either.

But if I ever get involved in a situation like that, I still plan on keeping it to myself.

Something to consider is sharing on the Internet. Here’s a short film about that:

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